" Any patch of sunlight in a wood will show you something about the sun which you could never get from reading books on astronomy. These pure and spontaneous pleasures are 'patches of godlight' in the woods of our experience."

Monday, October 6, 2014

I'll never forget that day when everything went dark. I didn't go blind physically, but emotionally. You fell from the sky, knocking out all my sight. Of course at the time, I didn't realize what had happened. All I knew what there was this man overshadowing everything else. You were so big, so important but so mysterious. You saved my life that day. When you told me the truth of who you were, that you could show me the stars in your blue box, I knew I had to go with you. Who could pass up the opportunity to see all of time and space, everything that ever was?

I suppose you knew what would happen to me. You knew you were taking me into darkness. But I was eager and friendly. You needed that - a friend - someone to pull you out of the dark. Everything you showed me was so amazing, one adventure after another. Yet it all paled in comparison with you. You were the shining star, blinding me.

But then you sent me away with your blue box - back home, back to life and light. I couldn't believe it. How could you?? You sent me away when you knew that you would die!  I was stuck with your box! No way to return. No way to save you. All I could think was how much I loved you, how you had saved me- literally and figuratively, how it wasn't right that you should be off in some galaxy sacrificing yourself for me...for everyone. I was completely helpless, until I remembered one way I could get back to you. I knew it was possible that I would die but it would be worth it if I saved you. After all, weren't you more important than me?

So I came back for you. I flew the blue box across the universe. When I found you, I erased all your enemies. I took life and I gave life. I had too much power. The darkness was killing me. I don't remember much of what happened, except that you kissed me. Our first kiss! I had been waiting for this moment for so long, but I didn't know that this kiss would be the end of you. You took the darkness from me and you were reborn from it.

The next thing I remembered was you, only it was a different you. Different face, different hair, even a different body. But was it the same man I loved? 

Yes, you were the same in many ways but different too. A good different. Softer, kinder, and lighthearted. I fell even more in love with you than before. Things were so wonderful for us for a long while.  But eventually we were torn apart...it seemed the universe wanted to rip me away from you again.

Even in that last goodbye, you still couldn't say it. You couldn't say those 3 words I desperately wanted to hear you say. The worst part is I had something to tell you too. That I carried a life in my stomach, one we had created together. So you see, those tears you saw that day weren't just for you but for the child that would never know his father. The child I had to raise on my own....part human, part Time Lord. 

So I want you to know that I'll never forget you and I'll always love you. I know you doubted it when you brought me a copy of yourself. I know you thought when I kissed him that I no longer loved you. Maybe you felt regret that I would forever be his instead of yours. But all I could think was how he wasn't you and he never would be you. But I knew he loved me and I needed a father for my child. What better father than an exact copy of you?

And so I send this letter out into the stars, hoping that someday, maybe you will stumble upon it. You'll know that I still love you and that I'm happy....as happy as one can be without her Doctor and his blue box.

*Inspired by Doctor Who and the Florence and the Machine song, "Cosmic Love"

Monday, September 29, 2014


 Jellyfish, jellyfish

Oh, to be like you

To feel the peace 

Of living 

Under the sea.

To float all day

Not a worry or a care

Not a moan or a groan


 Yet you float

Float

Float

Peacefully under the sea.

Maybe you sink to the bottom

Or rise to the top

You do not toil away the day

But float

Float

Float

Under the sea.

You look so soft

And squishy

But that is only a disguise

Until someone gets close

And then you sting.

So maybe we are more alike

Jellyfish, jellyfish.

On the outside 

I appear soft

But if you get too close

Watch out,

I might sting.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Ocean


Imagine your life is the ocean. Most of your time is spent treading water, trying to keep your head from going under. Storms come and go, but most days you are just struggling to stay afloat.

Now imagine every once and a while someone throws you a life preserver. And for a few brief moments, you cling to that. It's your only moment to rest. Those times are so amazing. The remembrance of those moments help you carry on when you are just treading water.

You know those moments...when you see the hand of God reach down and touch your life or the lives of people you know. For a few hours or days, that wonderful feeling of knowing that He is in control, that He cares about and loves you, lingers on; you know you've witnessed a miracle. Those moments are your life preservers. And on days when you are just treading water, you can remember and treasure those times. They give you a reason to keep going.

And isn't it amazing that most times those life preservers come when you most need them- during a storm, when the water is crashing down, threatening to push you under. When you think you won't survive, He reaches down and shows you that He's still there. He rescues you from the storm.

But for everyone treading water, eventually the time comes when God asks you to give in, to stop fighting life and come to Him, to sink down and rest your head on the ocean floor. And there you'll find true peace and rest with Him.

"In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,
And all this devotion I never knew at all,
And the crashes are Heaven, for a sinner released,
And the arms of the ocean deliver me.”
- Florence and the Machine, Never Let Me Go

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Book Review: The Watchers by Deirdra Eden

It has been a LOOONNGG time since I have posted on this blog, but I am excited to return to the blogging world with a book review. I received an email a few weeks ago about reviewing a new book by Deirdra Eden called The Watchers: Book One, Knight of Light.

When I finally received the book a couple weeks later, just a few days shy of the actual release date, I devoured the book in about 2 days. It's not very long, just over 200 pages and it is an easy read. Here's the summary of the book from Deirdra's website, http://www.knightess.com/books.html:

All the training in Heaven couldn't prepare me for the war on earth, nor for the love, loss, or loneliness humans feel. There are things worse than death, and every last one of them is hunting people like us. Even though we all feel human at times, we must remember, we are not them, we are their watchers.

In England, 1270 A.D., Auriella (pronounced yurr-ee-ella) flees her village after being accused of witchcraft. Pursued by nightmarish creatures, she struggles to accept the truth about her humanity. Filled with fairies, dwarves, pixies, dragons, demons, and monsters, Knight of Light is an enthralling tale that will capture the imaginations of readers young and old.

I was excited about this book because I love fantasy! But I was hesitant when I saw one review at the front of the book referring to the book as an allegory, comparable to C.S. Lewis and the Chronicles of Narnia. I have nothing against allegories, but to be compared to C.S. Lewis is a high compliment. I was worried that maybe the book wouldn't live up to my expectations.

I was pleasantly surprised. The book was simple yet well written with an intricate and interesting plot.  It was definitely geared toward a younger reader - pre-teenish and up but that didn't bother me. The characters, especially the main girl, Auriella, were very relatable.There is a religious feel to the book although I think I only saw that because I am religious.

Here's a quote I enjoyed: (Might be a bit spoilery so avert your eyes if you must!)

The queen paused before she started to explain. "The correct question is 'Why not me?' Whether you are human, Neviahan, or the Lady of Neviah herself, you have the power to change this world. the world is at war with enemies they cannot see, monsters that blend with the shadows and disguise themselves as humans. The only way we can win this war is for everyone to do their part toward a single goal - peace. The victory over Erebus and the Shadow Legion is not about one man or woman doing a million great tasks, but about millions of people doing what they can.

Was it the best book I've ever read? No. Was it the worst book I've ever read? Absolutely not. I feel Mrs. Eden has great potential. I'm excited to see where the rest of this series is going. You definitely need to pick this book up and give it a try.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Do unto others...

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

We've all heard this quote before right? I actually heard a sermon about this quote on Sunday. And it was thoroughly and completely spot on. Possibly the best sermon I had heard on the subject. It was thought provoking, convicting and I want to share that with you.

The actual quote comes from the Bible. Matthew 7: 12 "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

Most people usually mistake what this verse actually means. They think it says that you should treat people the way they treat you. But it actually means YOU should treat people the way YOU would like to be treated. Would you like to be treated with respect? Then you give people respect. Would you like people to be friendly to you? Then you be friendly. It's not about revenge or giving back the attitude or actions that the other person first gave you. It's about you acting first. You giving respect, kindness, loyalty FIRST because that is how you want to be treated.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

These are a few of my favorite things....

1. Beautiful, billowing clouds
2. Paris, France
3. Hot air balloons
4. Hot cup of cocoa on a cold evening
5. A good book
6. Late night conversations
7. Black cats
8. Entertaining Broadway musicals
9. Quoting movies
10. Long, sandy beaches

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Perseverance

I will persevere!
I will carry on!
Though it seems life is pointless,
Though it seems I'm going in circles,
God has a plan and a purpose.
I know He will bring me
To the place I ultimately belong.

The clouds are parting,
And the sun is peeking through.
Some days are still dreary,
But I can feel the healing.
For the first time in months,
I can smile freely!
Trusting in God,
Whether I feel His presence or not,
I know He is here,
Carrying me in His arms.

I am weary and stretched,
But He gives me strength
For each new day.
If I am to know Him,
I must share in His sufferings.
Who better to share with
Than my Most High God?

He knows me more intimately
Than any other.
He is the only one who can heal me.
I will press on
And fix my eyes to the goal.
No matter what happens around me,
Though all my friends fail
Or abandon me,
I'll keep my eyes on the prize
For He never fails,
Nor will He leave me!