" Any patch of sunlight in a wood will show you something about the sun which you could never get from reading books on astronomy. These pure and spontaneous pleasures are 'patches of godlight' in the woods of our experience."

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Christmas Is Different This Year

Same as always

But this year is different
The ice in my heart 
Has cracked away
Lights are brighter
Trees prettier

The cold outside
Won't freeze me
Hope and love
Keep me warm

Baby in a manger
Means so much more
God's gift to us
A tiny baby
His only Son
Born to die
 So that I might live

That's why Christmas is different this year
Realizing the importance
Of God's gift
The reason for the season
It means so much more
When you accept
God's gift.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Christmas Lights

Glowing Christmas lights
Shine down upon me
Warmth, love, and comfort
Fill my heart

Christmas lights make me happy
They cheer me.
Twinkling like stars -
Brilliant, multicolored stars

Memories flood 
Of Christmases long past
Reflecting of old times
Warms my heart

The lights remind me
Of someone who came
A small baby born,
The reason we celebrate this day

That baby was a light
For all the world to see
He came here to save me
 And He came to save you

I love Christmas lights
And the joy that they give.
I love that small baby
And the light that He gives.


Friday, December 5, 2014

Bad Guy gone Good

Am I the only person who loves a bad guy gone good story?

Present me with a tortured bad guy with a twisted past and then show me his redemption. I will melt into a puddle of tears and feelings. He will forever be one of my favorite characters.

Why is this redemption story, cliche as it is, so important? Why does it impact me in such a huge way? Why am I always rooting for the bad guy who becomes a hero?

Maybe he's an evil vampire who has been rejected all his life, then when he finally finds acceptance with the woman he loves, it changes him.

Or perhaps he's a druggie, who only wants to die, but finds a reason to live and comes out of the gutter as a new man.

What about a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist who literally becomes a hero and learns to love and care for more than just himself.

Or my favorite: a madman who stole a blue box, ran away from his problems, committed genocide and then committed himself to helping save others.

It doesn't matter. The story has been told hundreds of different ways. Why is it important?

Because if there can be redemption for them, if there is goodness somewhere inside of those people, then there is redemption for me. Maybe I see that dual layer within myself. A person who has done horrible things but learns and grows from it to become a better person. Isn't that the human condition? Isn't that what most people strive for?

And usually the "bad guy" slips up and falls back into his old ways at some point in the story. That always hits me hard. I grieve for them. Why would you do that again?? I think.  But then I see myself in that too, always repeating my mistakes. But that still doesn't take away from the redemption. Because the character sees the mistake and is sorry it happened. They pick themselves up and try again to be the hero.

It is more realistic to see characters who are bad and yet also good. That is how most human beings are. Everyone isn't all bad or all good. We are a mixture of mistakes and apologies. Bad choices and good choices. So it feels more real to me even if the story is about vampires, superheros, or time lords. I can connect with that character because I see myself in them.

Redemption makes a great story and great characters but more importantly it gives people a desire and a hope for something better for themselves - that they too can find redemption and have a better life.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

A Heart that Loves the Ocean

I watch the waves,
Waiting and wistful
Wishing the water
Would wash me away.

The wind pushes me
The waves pull me
Presenting me with possibilities
Its power calls to me
The chaos scares me
Yet I am comforted

Crashing waves are music
To my ears
The spray of the ocean 
Invigorates me

Will I miss the sun?
The salty air?
The smell of the sea?
Will they be lost to me?
When I sink,
Pressed under the crushing waves,
The curve of the ocean
Embracing me.

Precious water
Crystal clear
Carving a new heart in me -
A heart that loves 
The crest of the waves,
Splashing foam.
A heart that loves the ocean.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Give Thanks

When the sun shines bright and the skies are clear,
When God is blessing, 
Give thanks.

When the table is full and also your stomach,
When there is a roof over your head,
When you and your family are healthy,
When your job is stress free,
Give thanks.

When God performs a miracle,
When your friends are close and your enemies far,
When life is good,
Give thanks.

But when skies are dark and the storms come, 
When the table is empty with no money to fill it,
When you lose your job,
When a loved one is taken from this world,
When sickness and tragedy come,
Give thanks.

When God says no,
When friends betray you and family abandons you,
When terror follows you and sleep will not come,
When Heaven is silent,
Give thanks.

"O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever."
1 Chronicles 16:34

Friday, November 21, 2014

Call of the Ocean

Powerful and terrifying
Yet I can't resist its call
I want to jump in
The waves beg me to
Become one
Something so scary
And also comforting

I envy the seas creatures
Even the seagulls
Their freedom
Their intimacy
Salt water in my veins
Am I a child of the sea?
Destined to never return home?

Monday, November 10, 2014

In college, I had to write a speech, using quotes from different poems, books, songs etc to make my own poem. Here's what I wrote. I titled it Hope. I don't remember where I got all the quotes and I didn't write down my sources. Oops! I did tweak it a bit because it didn't make sense.

My life was like a moonless night...

We see so many ugly things - 
Deceits, wrongs and quarrelings

When some great sorrow,
like a mighty river comes,
Flows through your life 
with peace destroying power.

Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul

And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.

When ceaseless toil has hushed your song of gladness
And clearest things are swept from sight forever

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
Hold fast to your dreams,
This too shall pass away.
A light from the shadows shall spring

When you were gone, everything went black.

Renewed shall be blade that was broken.
 And sings the tune without the words

There was brilliancy
There was beauty

O keep a place a part, within your heart
For little dreams to go.

Though we all know that we must die.

Yet, you and I may walk like gods and goddesses
And be even now at home in immortality.

*I do know some of this is Emily Dickinson, some is from the Twilight books, and I recognize some from hymns but I don't know the titles.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

15 years ago everything was normal.
I was a regular teenage girl,
but something happened one Halloween -
a friend of mine died.
From that moment on
everything changed,
I saw the world in a different light.

For a while I couldn't sleep
I couldn't be alone
I couldn't be in the dark.
All I could see was his face
moments after we found him.
It was like 
I was being haunted 
by a ghost.

Is it true what they say?
That time heals all wounds?
Slowly I did heal
little by little
My heart was back together 
but I would never be the same.

Some years I'm OK.
Halloween breezes by
and I don't even notice.
But some years,
you haunt me.
I can't turn around 
I can't look at a calendar
I can't walk by Halloween decorations 
without seeing your face.

Why did this happen?
You were too young
and so was I.
And sometimes,
when no one is around...
I still cry.

But then I wipe away my tears
and I remember the good things.
I remember your smile
your silly jokes,
the way the teachers always sat us together
and I groaned 
but still helped you with your homework.

Mostly I remember that day
when I said something awful to you.
I didn't know why
but I knew I had to apologize.
You accepted it gracefully
with that smile
 and a few days later 
you were gone.

I'm so glad I had a chance
to tell you I was sorry.
I wish I could have said more.

Monday, October 6, 2014

I'll never forget that day when everything went dark. I didn't go blind physically, but emotionally. You fell from the sky, knocking out all my sight. Of course at the time, I didn't realize what had happened. All I knew what there was this man overshadowing everything else. You were so big, so important but so mysterious. You saved my life that day. When you told me the truth of who you were, that you could show me the stars in your blue box, I knew I had to go with you. Who could pass up the opportunity to see all of time and space, everything that ever was?

I suppose you knew what would happen to me. You knew you were taking me into darkness. But I was eager and friendly. You needed that - a friend - someone to pull you out of the dark. Everything you showed me was so amazing, one adventure after another. Yet it all paled in comparison with you. You were the shining star, blinding me.

But then you sent me away with your blue box - back home, back to life and light. I couldn't believe it. How could you?? You sent me away when you knew that you would die!  I was stuck with your box! No way to return. No way to save you. All I could think was how much I loved you, how you had saved me- literally and figuratively, how it wasn't right that you should be off in some galaxy sacrificing yourself for me...for everyone. I was completely helpless, until I remembered one way I could get back to you. I knew it was possible that I would die but it would be worth it if I saved you. After all, weren't you more important than me?

So I came back for you. I flew the blue box across the universe. When I found you, I erased all your enemies. I took life and I gave life. I had too much power. The darkness was killing me. I don't remember much of what happened, except that you kissed me. Our first kiss! I had been waiting for this moment for so long, but I didn't know that this kiss would be the end of you. You took the darkness from me and you were reborn from it.

The next thing I remembered was you, only it was a different you. Different face, different hair, even a different body. But was it the same man I loved? 

Yes, you were the same in many ways but different too. A good different. Softer, kinder, and lighthearted. I fell even more in love with you than before. Things were so wonderful for us for a long while.  But eventually we were torn apart...it seemed the universe wanted to rip me away from you again.

Even in that last goodbye, you still couldn't say it. You couldn't say those 3 words I desperately wanted to hear you say. The worst part is I had something to tell you too. That I carried a life in my stomach, one we had created together. So you see, those tears you saw that day weren't just for you but for the child that would never know his father. The child I had to raise on my own....part human, part Time Lord. 

So I want you to know that I'll never forget you and I'll always love you. I know you doubted it when you brought me a copy of yourself. I know you thought when I kissed him that I no longer loved you. Maybe you felt regret that I would forever be his instead of yours. But all I could think was how he wasn't you and he never would be you. But I knew he loved me and I needed a father for my child. What better father than an exact copy of you?

And so I send this letter out into the stars, hoping that someday, maybe you will stumble upon it. You'll know that I still love you and that I'm happy....as happy as one can be without her Doctor and his blue box.

*Inspired by Doctor Who and the Florence and the Machine song, "Cosmic Love"

Monday, September 29, 2014

 Jellyfish, jellyfish

Oh, to be like you

To feel the peace 

Of living 

Under the sea.

To float all day

Not a worry or a care

Not a moan or a groan

 Yet you float



Peacefully under the sea.

Maybe you sink to the bottom

Or rise to the top

You do not toil away the day

But float



Under the sea.

You look so soft

And squishy

But that is only a disguise

Until someone gets close

And then you sting.

So maybe we are more alike

Jellyfish, jellyfish.

On the outside 

I appear soft

But if you get too close

Watch out,

I might sting.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Ocean

Imagine your life is the ocean. Most of your time is spent treading water, trying to keep your head from going under. Storms come and go, but most days you are just struggling to stay afloat.

Now imagine every once and a while someone throws you a life preserver. And for a few brief moments, you cling to that. It's your only moment to rest. Those times are so amazing. The remembrance of those moments help you carry on when you are just treading water.

You know those moments...when you see the hand of God reach down and touch your life or the lives of people you know. For a few hours or days, that wonderful feeling of knowing that He is in control, that He cares about and loves you, lingers on; you know you've witnessed a miracle. Those moments are your life preservers. And on days when you are just treading water, you can remember and treasure those times. They give you a reason to keep going.

And isn't it amazing that most times those life preservers come when you most need them- during a storm, when the water is crashing down, threatening to push you under. When you think you won't survive, He reaches down and shows you that He's still there. He rescues you from the storm.

But for everyone treading water, eventually the time comes when God asks you to give in, to stop fighting life and come to Him, to sink down and rest your head on the ocean floor. And there you'll find true peace and rest with Him.

"In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,
And all this devotion I never knew at all,
And the crashes are Heaven, for a sinner released,
And the arms of the ocean deliver me.”
- Florence and the Machine, Never Let Me Go

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Book Review: The Watchers by Deirdra Eden

It has been a LOOONNGG time since I have posted on this blog, but I am excited to return to the blogging world with a book review. I received an email a few weeks ago about reviewing a new book by Deirdra Eden called The Watchers: Book One, Knight of Light.

When I finally received the book a couple weeks later, just a few days shy of the actual release date, I devoured the book in about 2 days. It's not very long, just over 200 pages and it is an easy read. Here's the summary of the book from Deirdra's website, http://www.knightess.com/books.html:

All the training in Heaven couldn't prepare me for the war on earth, nor for the love, loss, or loneliness humans feel. There are things worse than death, and every last one of them is hunting people like us. Even though we all feel human at times, we must remember, we are not them, we are their watchers.

In England, 1270 A.D., Auriella (pronounced yurr-ee-ella) flees her village after being accused of witchcraft. Pursued by nightmarish creatures, she struggles to accept the truth about her humanity. Filled with fairies, dwarves, pixies, dragons, demons, and monsters, Knight of Light is an enthralling tale that will capture the imaginations of readers young and old.

I was excited about this book because I love fantasy! But I was hesitant when I saw one review at the front of the book referring to the book as an allegory, comparable to C.S. Lewis and the Chronicles of Narnia. I have nothing against allegories, but to be compared to C.S. Lewis is a high compliment. I was worried that maybe the book wouldn't live up to my expectations.

I was pleasantly surprised. The book was simple yet well written with an intricate and interesting plot.  It was definitely geared toward a younger reader - pre-teenish and up but that didn't bother me. The characters, especially the main girl, Auriella, were very relatable.There is a religious feel to the book although I think I only saw that because I am religious.

Here's a quote I enjoyed: (Might be a bit spoilery so avert your eyes if you must!)

The queen paused before she started to explain. "The correct question is 'Why not me?' Whether you are human, Neviahan, or the Lady of Neviah herself, you have the power to change this world. the world is at war with enemies they cannot see, monsters that blend with the shadows and disguise themselves as humans. The only way we can win this war is for everyone to do their part toward a single goal - peace. The victory over Erebus and the Shadow Legion is not about one man or woman doing a million great tasks, but about millions of people doing what they can.

Was it the best book I've ever read? No. Was it the worst book I've ever read? Absolutely not. I feel Mrs. Eden has great potential. I'm excited to see where the rest of this series is going. You definitely need to pick this book up and give it a try.