" Any patch of sunlight in a wood will show you something about the sun which you could never get from reading books on astronomy. These pure and spontaneous pleasures are 'patches of godlight' in the woods of our experience."

Sunday, October 26, 2014

15 years ago everything was normal.
I was a regular teenage girl,
but something happened one Halloween -
a friend of mine died.
From that moment on
everything changed,
I saw the world in a different light.

For a while I couldn't sleep
I couldn't be alone
I couldn't be in the dark.
All I could see was his face
moments after we found him.
It was like 
I was being haunted 
by a ghost.

Is it true what they say?
That time heals all wounds?
Slowly I did heal
little by little
My heart was back together 
but I would never be the same.

Some years I'm OK.
Halloween breezes by
and I don't even notice.
But some years,
you haunt me.
I can't turn around 
I can't look at a calendar
I can't walk by Halloween decorations 
without seeing your face.

Why did this happen?
You were too young
and so was I.
And sometimes,
when no one is around...
I still cry.

But then I wipe away my tears
and I remember the good things.
I remember your smile
your silly jokes,
the way the teachers always sat us together
and I groaned 
but still helped you with your homework.

Mostly I remember that day
when I said something awful to you.
I didn't know why
but I knew I had to apologize.
You accepted it gracefully
with that smile
 and a few days later 
you were gone.

I'm so glad I had a chance
to tell you I was sorry.
I wish I could have said more.

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